So, yesterday we left off in our discussion of marriage discussion of how we, as men, should approach our marriages with the idea that we should be cultivating and growing our marriages like God instructed Adam to do. The second portion of this study, is equally important, but probably much more daring.
In my view of marriage, as a man just on the cusp of being transformed into a husband, as well as someone who has seen marriages both succeed and fail, I have seen something very interesting. In any marriage, there is one solid qualification that makes a marriage last versus what will deem a marriage to fail. This one qualification is very simple, yet very difficult.
You ready? You sure? Okay, it is self-sacrifice. According to the book of Ephesians, specifically 5:25-33, we are told by the apostle Paul, that “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ Loved the Church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her. In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherish it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound, and I am saying that is refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”
Now, what was just laid out was a lot of important stuff that we must unpack. If we take a strong look though, we see that the true way to have a lasting marriage is to do two things.
1. Love our wives like Christ loved the church. I’m telling you if we do this, we will have a lasting marriage filled with fun, love, and peace. The only issue though with this, is that its actually impossible to do this without Christ. We have to die to ourselves daily, pick up our cross and model our lives after Christ. If we do this, with his His grace and mercy, we can appropriately love our wives the way he has called us to.
2. We should love our wives like we love our bodies. This is equally important because, as men we love ourselves. We can be really into us, as pride is a difficult thing to break in manhood. But, if we put our wives before ourselves, we will not only kill our pride, we will also earn the respect of our wives, which in all reality is one of the biggest things that can make our marriages last.
One final note. If we are to achieve real, authentic joy, there is one simple thing to do. I stole this from my former youth minister, Jerry Howard, where he told us that, “To achieve real joy in our lives and our future marriages, you have to spell out Joy. All Joy is, is an acronym. It stands for Jesus, Others, and then Yourself. If you put Jesus first, then others, and yourself last, you will achieve joy. But, if you put Yourself first, others second, and Jesus last, you don’t get joy. Rather, you achieve yoj. To achieve joy in our lives and our marriages, we must put Jesus first, our wives second, and ourselves last. This is the only way to achieve the perfect marriage that is filled with joy, peace, and happiness. In the end, isn’t that what we all want?
My Story. 